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Blog posts for your Career, Business, and  Life
  • Writer's pictureDianne McKim

Are you a victim of life or a master of life?

5 steps to shift from victim to master of your life.

As published at

When we go through hard times in life it is so easy to get caught up in seeing everything with a cloud over it. This is especially true when someone has offended or hurt us deeply. We start to see ourselves as a victim and the longer we think that way, the more we lose the ability to handle situations well.

So let’s take a look at the difference between thinking like a victim of life and thinking like a master of your life.

The definitions of victim according to Merriam-Webster are:

1. one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent

2. one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions

3. one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment

4. one that is tricked or duped

Master, according to Merriam-Webster can be defined as:

1. one having control

2. an owner

3. having chief authority

Clearly, victim is about something being done to you while master is about you taking ownership of what happens.

Let’s take a look at the difference between victim thinking and master thinking.

I understand this difference personally as I was a victim of deep hurts and had a victim mindset. Working through the repercussions of that took me a long time and a lot of prayer and faith. Now I am able to be the master of my thinking and my approach to life.

You can accomplish this transition with some simple steps.

  1. Start replacing “you” with “I”. For example, instead of saying “you make me angry” you can replace that with “I feel angry when I hear you say that”. This shift in words helps you to be responsible for how you feel.

  2. Shift your mindset to see yourself as a master of your life. Look at what you have survived and see your survival as courage and strength.

  3. Be kind and compassionate to yourself. Practice self-love. Remember you are so much more than what has happened to you or how someone hurt you.

  4. Ask yourself “What can I learn from what happened to me?” This gets your brain thinking and searching for positives.

  5. Practice gratitude and thankfulness. Every day identify 5 different things you are thankful for. This will help you begin to see life in a new light.

Sometimes going from victim to master may require outside help. I have helped clients make this transition and have seen them begin a new and fresh walk in freedom. If you are struggling to make the shift I am here to help.

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